“Pre-Book Your Death Now”

Imagine letting life unfold, to playing at life until bedtime closed your eyes -- but only after a satisfyingly long story from an unhurried parent. Perhaps you're lucky enough to have experienced a Slow childhood. A Chris Ware drawing (as I remember it) a few years back showed a mother's bent-over face lit in the … Continue reading “Pre-Book Your Death Now” →

Pls Advise We Stop Using

No one is asking for another's advice whenever this business cliché is invoked. After few times daily the week's word cloud of my job's emails would reflect more of a Dear Abby phone farm than a working hospice. Will I be able to switch dates with another who will be on vacation and unavailable for … Continue reading Pls Advise We Stop Using →

Choosing a Quality Hospice

You matter because of who you are. You matter to the last moment of your life, and we will do all we can not only to die peacefully, but also to live until you die. Dame Cicely Saunders, founder of the modern hospice movement Don't count on treating your chronic disease indefinitely, or that it … Continue reading Choosing a Quality Hospice →

Sound and Policing In Our Age of Incessancy

I lower the car radio volume, finally turn it off. I'm in the middle of a nurse's work day. From a set of unrelated morning notes, I wonder how to justify all the necessary head space nursing requires with the time I need to create a satisfying sentence. It costs the world ten gallons of … Continue reading Sound and Policing In Our Age of Incessancy →

Unselfing

[W]hen the events for which the mask was designed are over, and I have finished using and abusing my individual right to sound through the mask, things will again snap back into place. Then I, greatly honored and deeply thankful for this moment, shall be free not only to exchange the rules and masks that … Continue reading Unselfing →

What Are You Going Through?: On Paying Attention

The love of our neighbor and all its form simply means being able to say to him: "What are you going through?" It is a recognition that the sufferer exists, not only as a unit in a collection, or a specimen from the social category labeled "unfortunate," but as a man, exactly like us, who … Continue reading What Are You Going Through?: On Paying Attention →

Difficult Conversations: Anatomy of “The Talk”

Revised. Originally from September 11, 2020 Last Friday at Summer’s end I met a fellow clinician at a patient’s home. He was what we call in hospice the Main Caregiver. I recognized how he wore his fatigue like a second skin. Excellent of skills and knowledge, this ICU RN stepped down to speak apart from … Continue reading Difficult Conversations: Anatomy of “The Talk” →

Guilt, Grief, and Honoring the Dead

We might improve our understanding about grief's supposedly destructive features. Guilt keeps memory alive. We sure as hell don't forget feeling personally responsible for someone's premature death, rather than having pulled them back from destruction. There are so many ways to die and so many times for dying, but once dead there's no more chances … Continue reading Guilt, Grief, and Honoring the Dead →

Hospice Focus Group Q & A

I heard "Free breakfast" and agreed. Then drove 20 miles in morning rush hour to discuss something with unknown others at the branch office. Maybe ideas to jolly up the work environment, help us worker bees, or get our company's message better integrated into the healthcare market? Perhaps a mixed bag of motives. Something to … Continue reading Hospice Focus Group Q & A →

Getting Too Much of Minimalism

We're here! We're poor! We're NOT GOING SHOPPING! Protest rally cry at OWS (Occupy Wall Street) and Other Capitalism Friction Spots Ads and Media say, "You're no good as you are now". Minimalism's retort: "There's NOTHING you lack". Then Madison Ave. sells us packaged Minimalism. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world … Continue reading Getting Too Much of Minimalism →